Wednesday, April 1, 2015

The Monthly Boat

The start of a new month! You know what that means?! Another new post from The Monthly Boat!! 

Now calm down, I know you guys are all very excited. In this post we'll be going over the greatness of what is boating. 

In this picture we have a really big boat. Just look at it. That thing is huuuuuge. I mean... it has a frikin HELICOPTER PAD! The Octopus yacht is the definition of extravagance and sophistication. What better way to show off your money when you arrive fashionably late in a helicopter at your own yacht party. But why is it called Octopus? It doesn't have eight helipads.... Well that's a ripoff!! Or maybe the eight represents the amount of digits on the price tag... Who knows, it doesn't matter!

Well this boat has about 500,000 seahorse power. That's right. 500,000 of those little things go and power this boat to move it from Miami Beach to Key West. But it economically runs at about 1,000,000 plankton per second. That's about 2 plankton per second for each seahorse, instead of the average 5. Good enough for me!

It's a nice boat. A really nice one. But... not good enough. 

*Cue Pirates of the Caribbean Music*

File:Brig Niagara cannons.jpg

Not as cool as this one!!!! Just look at it. There are cannons going off! It can't get any better. Sailing ships are just the best!

Happy April Fools' Day :)

Friday, August 8, 2014

The Worst Supercar: Bugatti Veyron


The Bugatti Veyron is one of the most, if not the most, known supercar on planet Earth. Now why is it the most famous? Well it's because it used to be the fastest production model car to be built. The Veyron had 1001 horses under the hood when it first came out which managed to give the car the record-breaking top speed of 253 mph. Then the Super Sport version came out after with 1200 horses and another world record of 267 mph.  But now, the title has been taken by Hennessey with their Venom GT and a top speed of 270 mph! (Go 'Merica!) So the question is, what is the point of the Bugatti Veyron now? Well... that's the thing. There is none. 

The point of the Bugatti when it first came out was to be the Concorde of the Auto Industry. To push the limits of what was possible and to prove that a car can go really damn fast. This is the only facet of the Veyron that I truly respect. It was a feat of engineering. The amount of effort to create this car was truly outstanding. Now if only they had placed the same amount or even close to the same amount of effort with the design of the car. Then I would probably like it and respect it to this very day. 

In addition, the Veyron's image has now been tarnished by many imitators, rappers, teenagers, and people with bad taste. I no longer think of the Veyron as an omnipotent machine, but instead my brain is flooded with images of big golden chains, Camaros with huge rims blasting out vulgar music, and people who can't survive without their Vine, Instagram, or Snapchat. I can no longer respect it and instead it's an easy way to determine if someone is actually a true automotive enthusiast if they lack a true reason. 

    "If you can have any car in the world, what would it be?"
    "A Bugatti Veyron bro!"
    "Cause it's fast. Duh!"

It isn't the Veyron's fault that its reputation was thrown to the ground. Although conversely, they should have designed it a little better. Those curves just don't do it for me. They Veyron is what my friend likes to call "The Beetle of the Supercars." 

But now a speed war rages on. There is a rumor going around that Bugatti is creating a new Veyron that has 1,479 horsepower and a top speed of 286 mph. They're most likely adding a KERS unit, which is an electrical motor, to add more horsepower and essentially make it a "hybrid", much like the LaFerrari, McLaren P1, and Porsche 918. While on the other side of the ring, Henessey announced that it will be creating a new Venom that will be able to go up to 290 mph. It's crazy how fast we are going to be able to go and how far technology has taken us.

As an automotive enthusiast and a lover of speed, I would like to say that speed... isn't everything. If I have millions of dollars in my pocket to throw in the air and buy a supercar, then I'm not going to run off and buy a Veyron. It's pointless. The Veyron is not lovable, cherishable, and has no character compared to other supercars. Car companies such as Pagani, Lamborghini, Ferarri,  and McLaren, all have their own zest, tang, and signature. They can either be aggressive, vulgar, exaggerated, lean, outlandish, or simply beautiful.  But the only thing Bugatti has going for it... is that it's fast. Out of all the supercars that I'm able to buy, the Bugatti Veyron would be the last. It's the worst supercar there is.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Death of the Muscle Car? 2014 Camaro

Although the new Camaro has already been out for some time, it doesn't hurt to go back and review what Chevy has done with the new model. From the side the new Camaro looks exactly the same. It still has the same curves and the same large front side panel. This is good news, but I must say that Camaros are not my favorite. The rear just seems to be too out of proportion with the rest of the car.  

Well sadly, the new Camaro has some downfalls. Thankfully, they're not as embarrassing compared to the Mustang changes. The grill in now much thinner than the previous model and although Chevy claims that it gives it a more aggressive look, I say that it does the exact opposite! Do they not know that size matters? This brings up another good question, why is everyone doing smaller headlights? It does NOT make the car look better or more aggressive! I'm talking to you JEEP and FORD! It seems that everyone is trying to play it safe with the same design. Psh, losers. Except for Chevy and its taillights. It seems that while the Camaro was being drawn, the designer's child came along and glued some Lego pieces to the drawing. No one ever noticed the difference and everyone just went with it. Thankfully, it still comes with a decent engine.  An average V6 with a fine amount of 323 horses. 

Edited by a Badass